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How To Tell Someone You Have Herpes
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CNN — When John got divorced after 12 years of marriage, he took a deep breath and launched into the dating scene. I thought at the time that the girl who gave it to me and I were the only people in the world who had it. But John and his date are far from alone. And the growing number of people in similar situations has created a new industry: Internet dating sites just for people with STDs.
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It took years for Davis, founder of The STD Project , which encourages awareness and acceptance of various sexually transmitted diseases, and spokesperson for Positive Singles , a dating site for people with STDs, to come to terms with the diagnosis she got at age When she was diagnosed with herpes almost three years ago, Whitney Carlson, 29, a social media editor in Chicago, had a similar reaction. The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals.
Around two-thirds of people worldwide under age 50 have herpes simplex 1, according to the World Health Organization , and around one in every six Americans between ages 14 and 49 has genital herpes, usually caused by herpes simplex 2, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Both Davis and Carlson eventually moved past their initial panic and saw herpes for what it is: an infection many people have that happens to usually get passed through sexual contact.
In the past, Carlson would put the herpes conversation on the table quickly. On sites like Positive Singles and HMates , users are expected to be open about their diagnoses, but because they know everyone else there has an STD, too, it removes a huge barrier—and the question of whether the information will send a potential partner packing. Carlson, who got back into dating via this kind of site after her diagnosis, agrees.
You can have great sex , find love, and also cut down on the chance of passing herpes along to your partner, Triplett says. Just keep these few things in mind:. Dating with herpes means telling potential partners, which can be scary. How to tell your partner is up to you, but people with the virus say it helps to be direct, transparent, and patient. STD-centered dating sites give people with herpes and other infections a way to skip awkward disclosures altogether.
She has spent her career as a reporter and editor covering women’s lives with a focus on wellness.
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The herpes virus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world. According to the World Health Organisation, two out of three people under the age of 50 are infected. Oh, and once you have it, you have it for life. Since being diagnosed with genital herpes in , she has dedicated her life to breaking down the stigma around herpes and providing resources for people struggling to come to terms with their condition. She told Metro.
We put so much pressure on ourselves and all of our insecurities are pushed to the surface when it comes to dating. The fear of telling someone or the rejection was so strong. Once I got over that hurdle, then I was ready to begin dating. It was very hard to tell a guy I liked that I had herpes, hoping that they would still want to date me. If I get an outbreak I know how to treat it and help the outbreak heal as fast as possible. Herpes is split into the HSV-1 virus, also known as herpes simplex or oral herpes, that causes cold sores and mouth ulcers, and HSV-2, the genital herpes virus characterised by painful red blisters around the genital region.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes.
Dating site for herpes sufferers
Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. The online dating world for most is overwhelming when it comes to options, but if you have a sexually transmitted infection or disease, the pool can seem a lot smaller. Most people are introduced to these infections and diseases as a consequence of having unprotected sex or having multiple partners, Pierce says, and this further adds to the stigma. On top of this, some people just have infections and not diseases.
Pierce says for starters, anyone with the disease or infection should know exactly what they have.
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Herpes dating sites work by creating a community of herpes singles and providing a safe, anonymous, shame-free environment for them to interact in. Unfortunately, our society unfairly looks down on people who have sexually transmitted diseases, even though HSV-1 and HSV-2 are extremely common. As such, herpes singles often suffer from romantic rejection and stigmatization. With herpes dating websites you do not have to worry about stigmatization or having an uncomfortable conversation with a new lover.
You can flirt, communicate with and enjoy dating someone with HSV with your privacy intact. The internet has opened up a whole new world of possibilities for people with genital herpes or other sexually transmitted diseases. Below you will find some of the best herpes dating sites. Some of them are strictly for people who have herpes. Others are for people with general STDs.
Positive Singles is one of the oldest online dating sites for herpes singles. With 1,, members you are sure to find your perfect match on this website. A herpes dating site that has been around since , Positive Singles prides itself on being completely anonymous and also offers its members a dating advisor and online chat room where they can talk to other members.